I had the chance to chat with Scott Middleton from Cancer Bats and have him undergo an
U: The most important question I have
to ask: why do sandwiches taste better when cut diagonally?
S.M.: I completely agree with you, this is
true. I'd say it's kinda... I have the same theory about pizza; that,
if you cut pizza into squares, it's not as good as if it's cut in a
circle, like in a pie, and cut it into a nice triangle...
U: Exactly! And it's hard to pick it
up, if it's pizza.
S.M.: Exactly. It has a nice handle but I
think the thing is about something like... I don't know, the point
goes into your mouth nicely? (laughs) It's gonna sound strange but I
think it's like, especially if I'm talking about pizza, my reasoning
is that it's always like, with each bite, you get a slightly
different texture. You go from the softest to the hardest part of the
pizza, which you can choose to eat or not. I think it's the same way
about sandwiches, but what I'm thinking also is that, if I make a
sandwich at home like a grilled cheese sandwich, which you have to
cut diagonally because then you're dipping it in ketchup...
U: You are..?
S.M.: Well this is the tradition where I'm
from, yes. So, you put cheese on bread and you grill it with
butter...
U: I know how it's done!
S.M.: Haha some people don't so they think
it's the craziest thing ever! I showed it to my friend and she
thought I was crazy...
U: No! It's crispy, it's tasty, and the
way the butter turns brown...
S.M.: Yes, exactly. But...
U: I cook a lot.
S.M.: Then you get the little point in
ketchup and it just seems to work nicely.
U: No, I truly don't. I like to eat it
as it is.
S.M.: You gotta try it! It's surprisingly
good. The other way people have it is they dip it into tomato soup.
U: NO! No, no, no.
S.M.: Yes. It's a very American thing. I'm
from Canada, we do ketchup, but in America it's grilled cheese and
tomato soup. I'm sorry but that's how it is!
U: Next question... If you could cast
each member of the band as a villain, who would each member be?
S.M.: That's a good question! Well, I
guess Mikey would have to be Dr. Octopus from Spider-man because he'd
have more hands that he could drum with and he could play even more
drums if he wanted to. And I think Dr. Octopus wears glasses, and so
does Mikey, so that works. I don't know if he's a villain but Jaye
could be Ghostrider, the guy who rides on a motorcycle and comes back
from the dead. And I'm saying that because I know it's Jaye's
favorite comic book character, and Jaye rides a motorcycle, and he
was really pissed off at Nicolas Cage for playing “Ghostrider”
in the movies, and I'm trying to think of a good one for Liam... Hmmm
I need to find something that fits his personality. That's a tricky
one... Maybe the Joker? Liam is always making jokes...
U: But he's not deranged.
S.M.: Well he's not deranged but he always has an excitable character, he's always
talking, making jokes, he probably should have been a comedian if he
wasn't gonna be a singer. Maybe not with the green hair but Joker
always wears a purple suit, Liam has worn white jeans in the past so
maybe that's... forward thinking fashion?
U: What about you?
S.M.: This is tricky. I don't see myself
as evil.
U: OK, as a superhero then!
S.M.: Oh! I guess he's kind of a villain
so Sabertooth, Wolverine's brother but enemy who's also played by a
Canadian actor in the movie. Sabertooth is Wolverine's more blond
brother essentially but they hate each other.
U: What superpower does your music
have? Like it can be the factor that turns Bruce Banner into the
Hulk.
S.M.: That's a good question! It's not
telepathy. Do we suck the life out of people? Like Rogue from X-Men?
Maybe we're like Wolverine's healing ability. Maybe we're like
Magneto and we attract all things metal, including metalheads!
(laughs)
U: If your couch was on fire, what
would you do? The other day, my friend told me he'd grab a steak and
grill it instead of putting it out.
S.M.: Of course my first instinct is to
put it out but I like this idea...
U: Maybe roast some marshmallows?
S.M.: Yeah! There you go! Exactly! Make
'smores! I like your campfire marshmallow idea. That's my favorite
thing to throw over fire -other than meat.
U: You receive $1000. What do you spend
it on?
S.M.: I'd buy a new microphone because I'm
getting into recording bands and I'm trying to make a microphone
collection right now.
U: So you'd set up a whole studio.
S.M.: Yeah I think so. That's a good
start. Although I could take a trip somewhere.
U: I think Liam should be answering
this next question because I don't know what your relationship is
with coffee, but I'm going to ask anyway? Would you rather give up
coffee or your favorite food?
S.M.: If I had to give it up... Yeah
you're right, that doesn't work for me because I would give up coffee
faster that anything else, but my favorite food? I've thought about
it, like, can I go without eating pizza for a long time? Or something
like that, which is not very healthy for you but then, there's
something wonderful about pizza so why would you give that up? And
also pizza is the easiest shitty food to eat, and even if it's made
shitty, it's still OK. I would find it easier to give up hamburgers.
We had a producer on the first album, and he made this joke where he
was like “how's the worst sex you've ever had?” and he was like
“eh it was great!”. Pizza is the same way. “What's the worst
pizza you've ever had? It was good!” And he always made this
parallel.
U: What's one thing you can't seem to
get over?
S.M.: It's sort of topical but whatever.
When those attacks in Paris happened, that really bummed me out
because it really hit close to home because I have so many good
friends that live in Paris and, the thing is, when that happened in
that venue, Bataclan, I've been there before. I don't know the guys
in Eagles Of Death Metal that well, I've met them before at a
festival, they were really nice, but one of my good friends is good
friends with them so I was freaking out, trying to call people... And
this is a guy from Germany [who] told me [he] was gonna meet with
them in a couple of days, and then he wasn't answering his phone...
Every time I think about it, it gives me shivers because...
U: This could be anywhere -not to quote
Alexisonfire.
S.M.: Haha exactly. I think it was really
wake up call for the western world; you're vulnerable, you kinda have
to go live your life anyway, but it's scary. People like this
randomly targeting innocent people...
U: ...who are paying for their country's
idiotic foreign policy.
S.M.: Yeah and this is it. Of course I
think it's cowardly to walk into a room and fire off a machine gun
but that stuff bothers me. I hope the world can have peace, as cheesy
and unrealistic as it may sound. I don't want things like that
happening. If that had happened the next day, when Deftones was
playing [3 sold out shows –ed.], I would have had 40 friends there
because I knew so many people from London that were flying, and all
my friends had tickets... I had friends right next door to these
places and thank God they're all OK. Why does this have to to happen?
It's 2016, we should be past that stuff! Violence is fucked up and so
is, like you said, countries' foreign policy, like, they don't need
to be there! They don't need to do that shit! They don't need to
invade other countries! Fuck off! Let them do their own thing!
Anyways... We can go on with politics and all that kind of crap but
let's not.
U: Let's not... What's a song you can't
stand?
S.M.: There's a couple... I'm trying to
think of one right now that's absolutely fucking horrible. I really
hate that song “Niggas In Paris” by Jay-Z and Kanye West. There
was a period when the guys in the band were playing this song in the
van 30 times a day on repeat. I don't know, they just thought it was
funny... I definitely learnt to hate that song. I like something with
slightly more substance than that.
U: What's the weirdest thing a fan has
ever done?
S.M.: There's been some weird shit. It's
always weird for us when someone goes “hey sign my arm, I'm gonna
get it tattooed!” and you're like “Really? I wish you you
would've told me that before I signed your arm so that A. I wouldn't
do it and would have said 'no' and B. I would have at least tried to
write it better. But that doesn't bother me that much because they
can get it covered up. Oh! Not with Cancer Bats but with the band I
was in before Cancer Bats we had this weird thing where someone
contacted us to play a birthday party and we were like “Yeah
sure!”. But the birthday party was a show with a whole lot of other
bands. So we show up and it was the birthday party for this girl, her
grand parents and ten of her friends and it was super super awkward.
We did it, whatever, and then she started calling me 'cause I was
the contact of the band, and she wouldn't stop. It was really
annoying. So one night I check my answering machine and there was a
message, like (creepy voice) “Hey, guess what? I carved your band's
name on my arm last night! Bye!”.
U: ...You should have just called them
back and tell them to get help.
S.M.: She needed help, I'm sure, but
anybody that would do that is just “AAARGH!!! I need to move
away!”. Eventually things stopped, which is good! And that was even
before I was in a band that was popular!
U: What's the furthest you've gone to
impress the opposite gender?
S.M.: (laughs) The furthest I've gone? Fly
myself around the world! (laughs) Geographically I've went pretty
far!
U: What's the biggest misconception
about Canadians?
S.M.: I think a lot of people believe that
Canadians are all polite, which is true to an extent. I know many who
are not. Maybe with other Canadians they're not, I don't know. I
consider myself a polite Canadian but I'm easily offended by many
others who are not. Another misconception is, when we travel, a lot
of people think we are Americans, so we're like “No, we are
Canadian” and they'll be like “Same thing!”. No, it's a
separate country. If you go to Austria and call them German they'll
say “No, we're not!”. Also some people will try to make fun of
Canadians for the way they speak. Instead of saying “about” we say “aboot”. Which in my experience is more like “a-boat”
than “aboot”...
U: Or when you say “sorry”.
S.M.: Americans say “sawrry”, we say
“sorry”, we make the “O” sound. Which I think is ironic
because Americans are mispronouncing the word. But hey, maybe England
can be the tie-breaker on that!
U: What is the last awkward situation
you found yourself in?
S.M.: Right now! (laughs) I'm joking.
Really awkward? I have a terrible memory, I'm so sorry... Oh!
Probably at the airport, when I'm going through the airport security,
and something in my bag set the alarm off, so they had to open it up
and he decided to open up the compartment in my bag which I had last
night's concert underwear in, that was soaking wet and really gross.
I was like “You shouldn't open that...” but he did anyway so he
was like “uurgh...”. I warned you, man. I do my laundry at the
end of the tour.
U: Two more questions; they don't
require any memory at all. Fuck, marry, kill in your band.
S.M.: … (laughs) Fuck, marry, kill..? In
my band..? uuuh (laughs) Oh my God! OK, so... I would...
U: If this is too weird, I can go to
the last question. If you died right now, what song would you want to
play at your funeral?
S.M.: Whooa that's a good one! It can be a
short song.
U: When the casket goes down, it can be
something dramatic.
S.M.: The Imperial March from Star Wars?
See now you put this image in my head. You talk about this thing
going down but I'm picturing the video for the Guns N Roses song,
“Estranged”, where Slash comes out of the water playing the
guitar solo. So Slash should play that solo while being lowered in
the ground with me.
U: Dude! That's morbid!
S.M.: Hey! You're the one talking about
funerals!
U: I asked about the song, not which
artist you'd bury!
S.M.: I know but I like that song a lot.
It's a nice long one, it's epic... It's representative of a life.
Maybe my life. It starts slow, then goes crazy, crash and burn... I
hope I'm not foretelling my death here! I do have to catch a flight
in the morning!
U: (laughs) I think we're done here!
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